1 post tagged “5wordchallenge”

Beanie

My dog Beanie, God bless his sweet little heart, is unfortunately about as bright as a damp cardboard box. I really love the little bastard but every damn time I take him out to pee his attention just seems to wander off, along with his aim, and he ends up pissing on his front paws. That is, unless Bean decides, for sheer novelty’s sake, that it’s a grand idea to lay on his back in our driveway and launch a wavering golden stream skyward.

I’ve even taken to calling him “Mr. Peabody” because of the dirty yellow shadow that has become permanently etched into his white belly fur. Repeated bathing just won’t erase it.

And of course his ring of piss feet and pee blond tummy are no airy delight either. There is always a faint but unmistakable tang that accompanies Bean wherever he goes. Undoubtedly his doggy fumes are made worse by our family feeding him a steady diet of cooked chicken and rawhide strips, frequently supplemented by bizarre food scraps slipped to him under the table by my wife.

None of this is really of much of a concern except when I’m stupid enough to think I can lie on the sofa and watch a little T.V. in peace. That’s when Mr. Peabody usually decides that the best place in the world to try and sit is right in the middle of my chest with his stinky yellow dog junk dangling under my chin.

F**k!