1
ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
a buzzard on a branch.

In Afghanistan,
no partridge, pear tree;
but my true love sent to me
a card from home.
I sat alone,
crouched in yellow dust,
and traced the grins of my kids
with my thumb.
Somewhere down the line,
for another father, husband,
brother, son, a bullet
with his name on.

2
TWO TURTLE DOVES,
that Shakespeare loved –
turr turr, turr turr –
endangered now
by herbicide,
the chopping down
of where they hide –
turr turr, turr turr –
hawthorn thickets,
hedgerows, woodland.
Summer's music
fainter, farther…
the spreading drought
of the Sahara.

3
THREE FRENCH HENS –
un, deux, trois –
do not know
that French they are.

Three Welsh lambs –
un, dau, tri –
do not know
that Welsh they baa.

Newborn babies –
one, two, three –
only know
you human be.

Only know
you human be.

4
THE GRENADA DOVE IS CALLING.
The Condor calls from the USA.
The Wood Stork calls from its wetlands.
The Albatross calls from the sea,
on the fourth day of Christmas.

The Yellow-eared Parrot is calling.
The Kakapo calls from NZ.
The Blue-throated Macaw is calling.
The Little Tern calls from Japan, calls
my true love sent to me.

The Corncrake is calling; the Osprey.
The Baikal Teal calls from Korea.
The Cuckoo is calling from England,
four calling birds.

5
THE FIRST GOLD RING WAS GOLD INDEED –
bankers' profits fired in greed.

The second ring outshone the sun,
fuelled by carbon, doused by none.

Ring three was black gold, O for oil –
a serpent swallowing its tail.

The fourth ring was Celebrity;
Fool's Gold, winking on TV.

Ring five, religion's halo, slipped –
a blind for eyes or gag for lips.

With these five gold rings they you wed,
then slip them off when you are dead.

With these five go-o-o-old rings.

6
I BOUGHT A MAGIC GOOSE FROM A JOLLY FARMER.
This goose laid Barack Obama.

I bought a magic goose from a friendly fellow.
This goose laid Fabio Capello.

I bought a magic goose from a maiden (comely).
This goose laid Joanna Lumley.

I bought a magic goose from a busker (poor).
This goose laid Anish Kapoor.

I bought a magic goose from a bargain bin, it
was the goose laid Alan Bennett.

I bought a poisoned goose from a crook (sick, whiffing).
This foul goose laid Nick Griffin.

7
THE SWAN AT COCKERMOUTH –
of a broken heart, one half.

The Mersey Swans, flying
for Hillsborough, wings of justice.

Two, married and mute on the Thames,
watching The Wave.

A Swan for Adrian Mitchell
and a Swan for UA Fanthorpe,
swansongs for poetry.

The Queen's birds, paired
for life, beauty and truth.

8
ONE MILKED MONEY TO MEND HER MOAT.
Two milked voters to float her boat.
Three milked Parliament to flip her flat.
Four milked Government to snip her cat.
Five milked the dead for close-up tears.
Six milked the tax-payer for years and
years and years…
Seven milked the system to Botox
her brow.
Eight milked herself – the selfish cow.

9
BUT THE DEAD SOLDIER'S LADY DOES NOT DANCE.
But the lady in the Detention Centre
does not dance.
But the honour killing lady does not dance.
But the drowned policeman's lady
does not dance.
But the lady in the filthy hospital ward
does not dance.
But the lady in Wootton Bassett does not dance.
But the gangmaster's lady does not dance.
But the lady with the pit bull terrier
does not dance.
But another dead soldier's lady
does not dance.

10
LORDS DON'T LEAP.
They sleep.

11
WE PAID THE BLUDDY PIPER
fir 'Royal Bank;
twa pipers each
fir Fred and Phil,
fir Finlay, Fraser, Frank.
Too big tae fail!
The wee dog laughed!
The dish ran awa' wi' the spoon…
We paid the bluddy pipers,
but we dinnae call the tune.

12
DID THEY HEAR THE DRUMS IN COPENHAGEN,
banging their warning?
On the twelfth day in Copenhagen
was global warming stopped in its tracks
by Brown and Barack and Hu Jintao,
by Meles Zenawi and Al Sabban,
by Yvo de Boer and Hedegaard?
Did they strike a match
or strike a bargain,
the politicos in Copenhagen?
Did they twiddle their thumbs?
Or hear the drums
and hear the drums
and hear the drums?

* What Would Laurie Do?





had to bring them home for research

can't take on a large pack like that.  strategery is called for

one is chosen

finally...

I'm referring to the kind of sensory deprivation, or as I find it, sensory enlightenment, one can experience in a floatation tank. Counting the experience this afternoon - courtesy of a very enlightened employer, no less - I've floated 5 times since 1986. I wish I could afford to do so more often, but one indulges in what one can, when one can. Today's was a Christmas gift. I find the experience is simply something remarkable. I've never been very good at meditation probably because my mind simply isn't very disciplined. It wants to keep right on exploring, talking, contradicting and judging regardless of what I might want. Inside the totally dark, body temperature encapsulation of a floatation tank, it panics. I don't panic, but the voice I carry with me, and which I believe we all carry with us, starts to 'thrash around'. My senses, which feed my mind, radically reach out within minutes of turning out the room light, entering the 500 litres of magnesium sulphate saturated water, closing the lid on the tank and settling into a supine position. You're buck naked, of course, no jewellery, you shower before entering the tank, and again afterwards to remove the salts. 

It's a strange feeling at first. How to hold or place one's arms? Legs are fine, they just stick out of the end of the torso, but arms? Floating by the side doesn't feel right to me. I've interlinked fingers across my chest, supported my head in my hands, even used the 'dead pose' of wrists crossed on the chest. Today, I found the correct position for me. Arms 'above' my head. The tank is plenty big enough and I'm a short-arse anyway. 

I'm not claustrophobic so being in a small space in the dark doesn't phase me and besides, it's warm and comfortable. Earplugs in to keep all noise out, eyes closed to keep the salty water out, the very first sensation is one of rotation. That's your senses reaching out for points of reference. You're horizontal, that much is known, but we live in a 3D world and a float tank is very much 2 dimensional. A watery plane to which you are held by gravity and buoyancy. You couldn't sink if you tried. So, rotation. Nothing dizzying, just a feeling of turning around your belly-button. In the first few minutes you'll find that a toe or a finger or elbow might touch a wall as any movement of your body in the water settles out, returning a sense of place to the mind that's calling for orientation. You may also find that condensed humidity will drip on you irregularly. You're inside a 100% humidity environment so that much is inescapable. It's not annoying if you know it's there and it stops after a few minutes anyway as the humidity returns to 100% from that which escaped when you opened the lid to get in. These are initial bugbears which are unavoidable and soon go away.

So there you are, held in a womb-like embrace on a two dimensional plane. Most float centres use 'relaxation music' to help you settle in, and also to bring you back at the end of your time. It helps at the start and without it at the end, I'd still be there. The music fades away after ten or so minutes and you find yourself listening to your own breathing, your heart-beat, your stomach gurgling....any sound your senses can detect, you'll listen. It's just more reaching out by a mind deprived. I know the experience is taking me when my sight sense begins to 'see' something. For me, it's light. It's been a psychedelic light show, geometric patterns, dreamscapes where people or places appear always brightly lit. Today it was a bluish plasma ball which moved in and around a massive, organic internally lit sphere held against a black background by what 'looked' like veins or sinew. Remember, this is my mind working, not my eyes. My eyes couldn't see squat because they were closed. That's how it began. I lost time today, just like the last time I floated. I know the music at the beginning went for 5 or 10 minutes, the odd drip was annoying, the rotation passed quickly and toes only touched a couple of times. My breathing settled after a couple of seemingly overly deep breaths, and then the lights came along. I chased the plasma ball, weaved in & around the organic sphere, 'watched' the lights and enjoyed being held by the warmth and security of my own mind as it quietened and 'listened' to itself, and then....the music.

I came back with something of a start. I wasn't ready and unlike waking from a deep sleep, wakefulness is instant. 'What? It's over? I'm not ready! I was......dunno....' and that's the honest truth. I really don't know where my mind was at the end, but I do know the plasma ball & organic sphere were a long time ago. I gently and slowly emerged from the tank, flicked on the room light and leaned against the tank. It's like coming down from something like pethidine but much more gentle, no drug-induced fogginess, no detrimental hangover. Just a quiet sense of peace & return. I checked my watch on the sidetable and a full hour had passed, yet to me it felt like 20 minutes. Even now, four & a half hours later, I'm still enraptured by the experience. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking to quieten their mind, relax and find some inner peace. Thank you, Alex. A much needed and enjoyed experience. The journey you take without going anywhere.